Interview with President Zardari!

INTERVIEW WITH

PRESIDENT ASIF ALI ZARDARI

UNPUBLISHED DUE TO CURBS IMPOSED BY SO CALLED DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT IN THE COUNTRY

"All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental"

Ladies and gentle man, bhaiyon aur un ki behno. After the phenomenal success of GPM (General Pervez Musharraf) we proudly and forcefully present

PAAZ!!!

No, this is not a new mobile company. Read on to find out!

Mr Ghost: Hello and welcome Mr. President

President Asif Ali Zardari: The pleasures are all mine.

MG: Sir, My first question is-

PAAZ: No actually, I am going to put the first question to you.

MG: Yes, Mr President?

PAAZ: Where are your shoes, both of them?

MG: Sir, I have deposited them at the security along with my mobile, video camera, belt and even my pen.

PAAZ: That’s very cooperative of you. You know throwing items is restricted.

MG: Yes, sir I got that.

PAAZ: The American intelligence may have failed but our intelligence agencies have confirmed reports that there is going to be a shoe-cide attack on me.

MG: You mean suicide attack.

PAAZ: Ya, that too.

MG: My first question is that the 18th February election bought hope to the people of Pakistan but none of the promises made by you came true. Why?

PAAZ: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray Pakistan mien jai ge.

MG: Sir, inflation is increasing; there are now more internal and external threats, load shedding, Judiciary, nothing seems right.

PAAZ: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray Pakistan mien jai ge.

I don’t want my first interview for Us to be boring. I hope that I am not being monotonous.

MG: No sir, not a bit. You are just helping me increase the word count.

I won’t let you be monotonous; this country is going through a tough time like always; my next question to you, sir, is that who is your favorite actress?

PAAZ: Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Oh sorry, the answer would be Ashwaariya, Angelina, all the Jennifers , Meera,

MG: Thank you, sir, that would be enough.

PAAZ: Preity, Rani and yes also Sherry Rehman.

MG: Fair enough. Sir, you got rid of General Pervez Musharraf.

How do find the new army chief?

PAAZ: I would like to make it clear I am not afraid of anybody.

MG: I meant what is the difference between Pervez Musharraf and Pervez Kiyani?

PAAZ: First you tell me what’s the difference between Pervez Kiyani and Hadiqa Kiyani?

MG: Is that a question?

PAAZ: Yes.

MG: Hadiqa sings to the nation and the nation sings to General Kiyani.

PAAZ: Exactly.

MG: Yes Sir, the nation sings for help.

MG: Sir, tensions with India are on the rise. Have you talked with the Indian Prime Minister?

PAAZ: Yes.

MG: How did it go?

PAAZ: First of all I congratulated him on the completion of Kyun Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu thi, and offered my condolences on the death of Baa in the last episode. Oh boy poor Muhtarma Baa Shaheed!

I think the Indian government should release new Rs.10 coins with Baa on them!

MG: How did Prime Minister Manmohan Singh respond?

PAAZ: First he got all emotional and started crying like a baby. Then his defense minister Pranab Mukherjee intervened and blamed the ISI for the act.

MG: How could he blame the ISI without any proof?

PAAZ: Exactly. I also protested and asked Pranab Mukherjee whether he was related to Rani Mukherjee or not?

MG: That’s one good diplomatic move.

PAAZ: Yes and guess what? Pranab is not related to Rani Mukherjee.

MG: Wow sir! Cool, did you get to talk to Manmohan Singh?

PAAZ: Yes, he cried over the telephone saying look what terrorist have done to my Mumbia.

MG: And your response?

PAAZ: I said,

Yay Jamhoriat per hamla hay

Jamhoriat kay khilaf sazish hay

Jamhoriat ko destabilize kerna chahtay hain

Shaheed Bhutto ka piagham le ker pooray India mien jai ge.

MG: Sir, the Indian Prime Minister also summoned the ISI chief on this issue.

PAAZ: Yes, I told him this can be done only if we have a deal.

MG: What deal?

PAAZ: I told him to give us Katrina in exchange for the ISI chief.

MG: He must have responded negatively.

PAAZ: Yes, I offered him to take Kashmir and the ISI chief, but still he said no.

MG: Very thoughtful of the Prime Minister I guess.

PAAZ: I knew that Indians don’t want any negotiations.

MG: But India has also threatened us with war.

PAAZ: I told Manmohan Singh that we are not afraid of you and we stand united against any Indian aggression.

MG: Yes sir, we stand united.

PAAZ: Manmohan Singh then started singing:

Singh Is Kinng,

Singh Is Kinng ,

Singh Is Kinng…….

MG: Did he, sir?

PAAZ: Yes, I told him we are not afraid of you Sardar. You only come in handy when it comes to forward text messages.

MG: Mr. Manmohan must be really angry.

PAAZ: He threatened me by saying we have USA, Russia, and Israel on their side.

Who does Pakistan have?

I replied we have FATA.

Mess with the Best

Die like the Rest.

MG: Wow sir, what a reply, I am not missing my shoes now.

MG: Mumbia attacks are believed to be India’s 9/11.

PAAZ: Pakistan everyday goes through some sort of 9/11

MG: I think Pakistan’s 9/11 was on the 6^th of September.

PAAZ: Yes you are right, hey wait a minute I was elected President on 6^th of September!!!!

MG: Sir, I was just kidding. Let’s lighten up your mood.

Sir, how was your meeting with Sarah Palin?

PAAZ: very loving and affectionate.

MG: but she also lost in elections.

PAAZ: She had too. She was very bad at speeches.

MG: Seriously?

PAAZ: Let me show the video I made of her on my cell phone.

(Video gets played)

Sarah Palin addressing a gathering!

SP: My Fellow Americans

Aaj bhi McCain zinda hain

Kal bhi McCain zinda tha.

Tum kitnay Muslims maaro ge

Haar Muslim Obama nikle ga!

Hum America mien Democracy lie gai!

Hum adliya bahaal kaare ge.

MG: Sir, who would even vote for her after such a speech!

PAAZ: Pakistanis would!

MG: Sir, last question to you

Sherry Rehman OR Sarah Palin

PAAZ: Of course Sherry Rehman!

MG: any special reason?

PAAZ: My Desi Girl , My desi girl

Who’s the hottest in the world?

My Desi girl

MG: Sir we have to leave it over there, next line song ki theek nahi, any ways thank you very much for the interview.

PAAZ: The pleasures are all mine!

MG: Thanks every one for being with us and in the end I would like to say:

Mujh ye fikar nahi ke ye mulk kasie chale

Mujh ye bhi fikar nahi ke ye aise hi na chalta rahe

Mujh ye fikar hian ke ye mulk aur kitne din chale ga!!