Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Late Summer Movies - YOU Magazine, The News International

Entertainment

Late summer movies

Compiled by
Waqas Hasan Sharif

DATED: [26TH-AUGUST-2008]

Guillermo Del Toro's Hellboy II has certainly the right ingredients to be a successful and totally satisfying summer release: it's an entertaining, visually stunning romp busy with fantastic ideas and well-rounded characters that more than compensate for the flimsy comic book storyline.

Hellboy's background is explored during the opening reel and the movie picks up from there. This movie is a ton of fun, yet it also makes significant artistic strides over the original. Everything about Hellboy II looks better: the set design, the make-up, the special effects and, of course, the creatures. Set in an underground world, Hellboy and crew fight the mechanical army amid giant cogs and wheels they have to avoid getting crushed in. Despite the lightweight, comic book plot, Del Toro's script is well-written and gives his characters much deserved emotional gravitas which is explored in several smaller subplots. Relationships, fatherhood, alienation -among other themes - are tackled to a satisfying degree without the film losing its playful and idiosyncratic appeal.

Hellboy II is a film entirely of this time that speaks in timeless images of Catholic grotesquerie and pre-Christian iconography, alive in the fire of invention and flights of fancy.

The film will be shown @ Cineplex cinema soon.

Directed by The Full Monty's Peter Cattaneo, The Rocker unspools the teased-hair tale of one Robert ''Fish'' Fishman (Wilson), who 20 years earlier was unceremoniously booted from a metal band shortly before they became platinum-selling monsters of rock. Since then, he's brooded, plotted revenge, and honed his high-hat chops. So when his high-school-age nephew's emo band, A.D.D., is looking for a new drummer, they give Fish a second shot at rock immortality. Needless to say, bittersweet life lessons are learned along the way. The Rocker isn't really about rock 'n' roll. It's more about middle-aged wish fulfilment. Many scenes in the film are very funny, such as one involving Demitri Martin as a committed music video director.

In a way, The Rocker seems like a vehicle for musical wunderkind Teddy Geiger, who is apparently big with the kids. Peter brings a light touch to the material but The Rocker is clearly indebted to the blueprint laid out by Almost Famous.

Directed by Andrew Fleming, Hamlet 2 mines the rich comedy in failure. The film employs an act structure with interesting titles and a theatrically inflated voiceover to narrate the story of Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan), a failed actor-turned-high-school drama teacher in Tucson, Arizona, who is fighting to save his department and his pride.

The film is a 'no holds barred' comedy that isn't afraid to be naughty. The actual play itself shows Hamlet traveling in a time machine meeting famous characters like Einstein and even Jesus, played by Dana himself. The songs are really funny. The movie has a great opening too, starting with fake commercials that Dana starred in before he was a teacher.

Andrew Fleming's direction is pretty bland and straight forward. Not bad, just ordinary. The script is all right, but the performances are what make this better than your average comedy. This is Steve Coogan's movie. He is 90% of why this movie works.


Friday, August 22, 2008

Nothing Really Happened - Us Magazine, The News International

Once upon a time, three weeks ago in a land not so far away, a new day had just dawned with the sun smiling much above the horizon. A cool, handsome and yes, single guy was ready to leave his home for a very educational journey, that is, towards his university. The guy happened to be me and did I mention single? Yes I did. Well, as I left home, I began to walk towards the bus stop which is about 600 meters away from my house. I always walk on the wrong side of the road so that I can see the traffic coming towards me rather than passing me by. As I approached the bus stop a sudden noise, like some heavy metal being dragged against the ground caught my attention. A guy, not-so-young and definitely not better looking than I am, was also about to start his day as he had opened his bungalow's main gate to take out his car. I looked with envy at the huge house which had a driveway that could accommodate eight cars at a time and that, too, parked in a line. The guy began walking towards his car which was parked at the end of the driveway. After I had fully invaded the privacy of the house by scanning it inside out, I turned my face towards the main road and paused immediately as my eyes caught a view that I can never forget. No, it was not a beautiful girl standing in front of me, I wasn't so lucky that day!

Two guys, who had come from the wrong side on their bike, overtook me from my left and stopped in front of me. One of the guys, who, I think was definitely better looking than me, almost jumped at me from the bike. As I saw this, I immediately knew what to do next as it was that time of the year again! My cell phone was about to be snatched!

After that I was not able to think what was going to happen and the only thing which came to my mind was a nice good bye which I was going to offer to my beloved cell phone which could go like this:

Oh my love

Though we have come a long way

Now the time has arrived for you to depart

To the world hereafter

A beautiful world filled with

Guns, bullets and lots of blocked SIMs

But wait: there was an easy way out, yes my friends, a way out.

The guys shouted, "Come here, beta, sharafat se," and I ran as fast as I could. It didn't even bother me that they had a gun. Aakhir goli, goli pe likha hota hai khanay walay ka naam, and luckily, that goli was not meant for me. But where could I run? Yes, you are a genius if you have guessed it. I ran into the house with the car porch, which, I love to repeat, could hold eight cars at a time. As I was literally running inside the house on the driveway I heard the noise of that bike speeding away and passing by the house. Yes the biker boys fled! Haahaa! The pair of losers couldn't even snatch a mobile phone!

I made it to the middle of the driveway, while the not-so-young man, who was about to leave for somewhere, had started his car's engines. He adjusted his rear view mirror and looked at me through it. I got confused not knowing what to do, as it was a very awkward situation. The guy just ignored me and moved on. I came out of the house and tried catching his attention. Finally we established eye contact. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his and we both paused for a minute… Okay people, this is going somewhere else... Then he left.

After this particular incident I got depressed. No, I became sad, not because I couldn't even thank him, but because no politics was involved in this incident!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Friendship Day Special - Us Magazine, The News International

WHY US MAGAZINE WHY?

I'M seriously nothing without you guys!!!


DATED:[1ST-AUGUST-2008]

Fatima, Meesam, Sumaiya, Ferrukh and Salman. We have been friends since 1998 and our artist Ferrukh has been making these pictures for our group 'Numerators' for the last three years. This picture is last year's and is undoubtedly the best one to date. I could have given our original picture, but this one represents us so well that our real picture looks nothing when compared to it. These four people are my life and no matter where I am and what I do, I know they are the people I will ALWAYS have... sometimes behind me and sometimes with me :)

Fatima

This is my best buddy with me at an undisclosed location. Do you know the best thing about this friendship? My buddy doesn't even know me, but he surely helps me out by gracing my 'Pollutics' articles whenever I need him! Here is to our continued friendship, as I now claim the honour of being 'the friend of the friendless'!

Waqas Hassan Sharif

This photo reminds me of the unlimited fun we had during our intercollegiate basketball practices. We went for our final match with more than 15 supporters. Unfortunately, we were not able to win but hey we were the runners up! After the match we went to KFC before going back to college. We had so much fun! We annoyed the assistant manager and the waiter a lot. He would ask us to go and sit on the table and wait for the meal but we wouldn't budge from the counter. We laughed our heads off. In the end we had Rs40 left, so we had a small single scoop. It was our last year in the college and the most memorable one.

Nayab Shakil

What? No, no... Just tell me, why are you looking like this? Are you jealous of my best friend, Blacky? I remember taking him out for a walk that morning when I observed a quote written at the back of a car, "The more I know people, the more I love my dog!" Blacky is my only best friend. He sleeps in my room, he's obedient, he's intelligent and he loves me like anything! It was probably two years back when he was a baby and my brother gifted him to me on my birthday.

In the beginning, I used to hate him. But one day I realised how much I loved him when Blacky's nose started to bleed due to some reason and I started crying! I love you, Blacky. Happy Friendship Day! Hamza Asad

No matter how busy life gets, I always have time to think about "Jani Gang". Hassan (Totti), Shayan (Shane), Ali (Sherry), Shahbaz (Timmy), Umair (Bugz), Amar (Rana Sahab), Ibrahim (Ibri), Arslan (Achu), Saad (Saadi) and Humza (Doc). None of us is really sure how we arrived at this name but that is what we used to call ourselves. From our morning boys' meeting to lunch in the break time and after school we made sure that we laughed with one of us taking the humour department into his hands. We had our routine fights but hey that is part of the deal. This picture is nearest to my heart with myself on the right and Hassan on the left. We were, what I proudly say, the exact definition of perfection: Na bohat baghairat na bohat sharif :P

Humza Asad

True friendship is a bond which makes people remember each other even when they are miles apart. We three friends Haya (Me), Nabeeha and Maria follow this very idea. Hailing from three different provinces of Pakistan, we met in USA at a cultural exchange programme. We share fun moments, joys and sorrows with each other and always make sure to send an SMS whenever anyone of us remembers an old joke, prank or story.

Besides the relationship with your family, one of the best relationships you can have is with your friends. You cherish each moment that you spend with them and share all of your secrets. We believe in only one quote: A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED. Standing by your friend whenever s/he needs you is what we call 'true' friendship.

My gang and I had a wonderful time at our university's annual picnic. Here in this pic is my buddy gang: Amna Ameer, Me (Meena Ahmed), Mehreen Masood and Sabina Rizwan. Love you, friends!