Reading Is Believing!

Reading Is Believing!

By Waqas Hassan Sharif


Published in
Us Magazine - The News International
DATED: [2-October-2009]

A decade from now you will wake up one morning and find your copy of The News International making these headlines!




Mufti Muneeb-ur-Rehman new NASA chief: Decision sparks protest in Peshawar


HOUSTON/USA: Chairman Ruet-Hilal Committee Mufti Muneeb-ur-Rehman has now been appointed as the chief of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). This decision came from the government to prevent anymore chand controversies. Prime Minister Rehman Malik told newsmen that NASA would be responsible for the sighting of the moon and would work as a subsidiary of the Ruet-e-Hilal committee. The newly appointed chief vowed that no chand controversies would take place in future and the whole Universe would celebrate Eid according to the moon sighting conducted by NASA. Chairman Rehman also said that a special space shuttle would be launched into space every time the moon needs to be sighted. On the other hand Peshawar witnessed massive protest over Muneeb-ur-Rehman's appointment. The Zonal Committee in Peshawar accused Mufti Muneeb of deliberately tampering with the chand. The Zonal Committee decided that if their demands were not met, the next Eid would be celebrated just by the sighting of Katrina Kaif.
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US lauds Iran over Nuclear Program

WASHINGTON: The American State Department lauded Iran for its role in maintaining political stability and peace in the region. The United States government said that it had great faith in Iran and saw it as a very important ally. US claimed that the Nuclear Command and Control System of Iran was one of the best in the world. The US also showed great interest in purchasing Uranium centrifuges from Iran. Earlier, President Obama joked by telling Iran, "Insaan ka bacha ban ja." Iran responded to Obama by saying, "Thori Fair n Lovely to lagaley."

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Meera feels betrayed. Demands Article 6

LAHORE: Seen as the most controversial, scandalous, gossipy and more chatpata than the word chatpata itself, the Meera scandal is back in the news as the Bollywood queen broke her silence after almost decades in an emergency press conference. Meera told The News that she was betrayed by Atiq-ur-Rehman years ago and demanded strict action against the prominent businessman. Meera stated, "Obama ki kasam, Osama ki kasam, Betul-a-Mehsud ki kasam, Sahir Lodhi ki kasam, I am married to Atiq-ur-Rehman and hold almost 94.75% share in Atiq's property." Meera demanded that the government and the parliament conduct an unfair and unbalanced trial of Atiq under Article 6 of the Constitution. Meera's lawyers, who were also present at the press conference, said that they believed betraying Meera came under high act of treason and was an un-bailable offence. Meera also claimed that Atiq had the support of international guarantors as well as local stakeholders. If found guilty, Atiq-ur-Rehman could be sentenced to life imprisonment, with Meera, of course.
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Kamal inaugurates world's longest bridge: Pakistan makes into Guinness Book of World Records

KARACHI: City Nazim of Karachi, Syed Mustafa Kamal, inaugurated the world's longest bridge over the Indian Ocean connecting Karachi to London that will make the trip between the two cities absolutely signal free. Kamal stated that this mega structure was a part of the Signal Free Corridor XII and had reduced the distance between Karachi and London to just 23 hours, 59 minutes and 30 seconds by car. Kamal also said that this bridge was not a publicity stunt to get Pakistan's name into the Guinness Book of World Records or to get MQM Chief Altaf Hussain bhai to visit Karachi. Later on, a massive protest was also witnessed outside the offices of the City Government against the construction of the bridge by British Airways Pakistan.

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Pervez nominated for Noble Peach Prize

ISLAMABAD: member and Minister for Water and Power, Raja Pervez Ashraf, has been nominated for the esteemed Nobel Peach Prize for his work in the field of power generation. The Nobel Foundation confirmed his nomination after going through Pervez's Electric Molecular Energizer model which was installed back in December 2009 which ended the energy crisis of the country. The same but a low powered model was also installed by NASA on board the USS-Enterprise six years back and is running successfully. Pervez was also awarded the prestigious DOC Spock Award two days back. On returning from the planet Vulcan, Raja Pervez highlighted the importance of electricity generation and conservation. Pervez returned yesterday from Vulcan where he delivered lectures on the topic "AC 26 degree per chalaiye" at the Vulcan University.
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Imran still unhappy: Threatens long march, Eyes Revolution

LAHORE: PTI Chairman Imran Khan forced the government to take strict action against the killers of Monty and Anabel. He threatened the government that a long march would be conducted if justice was not done. Earlier, the Lawyer's Action Committee also gave a call for long march. Imran Khan also said in his press conference that this long march would be as historical as the long march held back in 2009. "It will be bigger, better and stronger this time," said Imran. PTI has also setup protest camps outside the Lahore and Islamabad press clubs. It is noted that Anabel and Monty were the two Pakistani cats killed last month in the southern district capital of the Banana Republic. Later, MQM Quaid Altaf Hussain also called Imran Khan and assured full support to him on this national issue.

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Begum Nawazish Ali to contest Miss Universe beauty pageant: Taliban gives NOC

KARACHI: Lollywood diva Begum Nawazish Ali announced that she will participate in the upcoming Miss Universe Contest which is to be held in Afghanistan. Starting from next month, the Contest will show more than 150 contestants. Begum Nawazish said that she was waiting for the NOC (no objection certificate) from the Taliban, who are the principal organisers of the event, before making this news public. The NOC issued by Taliban gives Begum Nawazish the authority to take part in the swim suit competition.

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President Asif Ali Zardari to take oath as Chief Justice of Pakistan

ISLAMABAD: After a long term of serving as the President of Pakistan, the Pakistan Peoples Party co-chairman has decided to call it a day and is all set to resign as the president and take over the office of the chief justice. However, many political analysts claim that the President is willing to keep both offices and may not resign. Sources close to the presidency disclose that President Zardari is consulting his legal experts as it's unconstitutional to keep the two offices, the president's as well as the chief justice's, at the same time. Close aides also indicate towards a major constitutional difficulty as the chief justice is supposed to take oath from the president and PPP has not indicated whether a new person will be nominated as the president or President Zardari will continue to be the president. Zardari vowed that as soon as he takes oath for the office of the chief justice, a suo motto action will be taken to find out and punish the assassins of Benazir Bhutto.
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Nawaz meets Musharraf at Chak Shahzad: Offers premiership

CHAK SHAHZAD/ISLAMABAD: Former Prime Minister and PML (N) chief Nawaz Sharif attended the grand dinner hosted by General (R) Pervez Musharraf at his Chak Shahzad farmhouse. Both leaders discussed the prevailing political situation in the country and other bilateral issues. Later, in a press conference, Nawaz Sharif announced his full support for Musharraf and offered him premiership of the Pakistan Muslim League (N). Nawaz Sharif expressed his concerns over the battered situation of the country, saying that 'only a democratically elected dictatorship is the key to all the problems'. Musharraf, in his remarks, praised Nawaz Sharif and said that PML (N) would be contacted when needed.
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US urges Pakistan to stop bullying India

WASHINGTON: In a dramatic development, the United States government urged Pakistan to stop bullying India and keep away from the country's internal affairs. Pakistan on the other hand rejected such claims stating them baseless. Pakistan's High Commissioner to India, Ajmal Kasab, warned India and advised the Indian government to refrain from complaining to the US about Pakistan. Earlier, Pakistan also cut off electricity and gas supply to India as a preventive measure. The Indian government continued its aggression against the ISI and demanded Pakistan to nominate a new high commissioner instead of the controversial Kasab. The US also urged Pakistan to stop the Drone attacks in the Indian territory.

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Major political shift as Islam listed as largest religion

NEW YORK: Muslims population exceeded the 6 Billion mark last year and is now the largest religious group, confirmed the United Nations. The UN also confirmed that Muslim population in the United States, United Kingdom and India has increased up to an astonishing 80 per cent. This rapid increase also created a major political shift, especially in the United States last year, as Jamat-e-Islami was about to clean sweep the general election, but later lost by only 2 seats. Jamat-e-Islami leader Mulana Fazlur Rehman pointed out the irregularities in the election, but inside sources claim that a last minute deal was struck between Fazlur Rehman and the Democrats according to which Fazlur Rehman was to have a major share in the Mulla Gabloo Jawan Pehelwaan Oil Fields. The Mulla Gabloo Jawan Pehelwaan Field is responsible for supplying diesel not only to the United States, but also to its allied countries.