Breaking News! - US Magazine, The News International

Emergency

Breaking News!

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

This is Jeenay Do TV and we would like to break the news that President General Pervaiz Musharraf has imposed emergency in the country. We would like to remind you that we are the first channel to break this news! We are trying to contact higher government officials, but we are getting no answer. This time round, emergency has been imposed due to the ongoing security situation in the country. We will keep you updated with it, and of course we are always the first ones to report it. We will keep you up to date with the developments of today and bring you news, views, reviews and reviews of the news, views and reviews.

We have finally succeeded in contacting General Musharraf himself; let's see what he has to say.

JDTV: Slam, General Sahab!

Mush: What! Slam, yes I will!

JDTV: Sorry, sir, Asalam-o-aliakum.

Mush: Wasalam, pehele ye batao kahan se baat ker rahe ho?

JDTV: Sir, Jeenay Do TV.

Mush: Tum log! I have banned you people! Don't call me again. Bye!

JDTV: Sir, please sir, why aren't you talking to Us?

Mush: Aray baba emergency lagi hui hai, sub channels per pabandi hai, tum se baat ki tu sab se kerni paregi, mujh ko bhi jeenay do, bye!

JDTV: Looks like General Sahab has disconnected the call, we will try to contact him again.

JDTV calls again!

Mush: Who are you and where are you calling from?

JDTV: Sir, we are calling from PTV.

Mush: Ok, good. What's up?

JDTV: Sir, we want to ask why, how and when did you impose emergency in the country?

Mush: Yaar, bhai dekho, abhi two hours pehle I decided to impose emergency. So I called 15 and rescue 1122 in Punjab.

JDTV: 15 and Rescue 1122?

Mush: Aray baba emergency mien in logon ko hi call kertien hain na, abhi tum call rakhoge to Edhi waloon ko bhi call karoonga.

JDTV: Judiciary has been suspended. Why, sir?

Mush: Oye! Where did you say you were calling from?

JDTV: Sir, ummh...aammh, PTV.

Mush: You think I am stupid? Tumhara number agaya CLI per mere pass. Ye tu Dubai ka number hai. Jhoot boltay ho.

JDTV: Nahi, sir. We are not lying. We are seriously calling from PTV.

Mush: Oye, kon sa PTV.

JDTV: Sir, Private Television.

Mush: Acha mere saath game khelte ho. Abhi tum sab ko band kerwata hoon. Mera mood acha nahi hai aaj, pangaa na lena mujh se.

JDTV: Extremely sorry, sir, itni muskil se call milli hai. Sir, please baat tu kerlien na thori se aur, please!

Mush: Pehle ye batao where did you get my number from. I have just bought a new sim. It's not even registered.

JDTV: Sir, woh girls college ke bahir dewaar per likha tha aap ka number, aur likha tha 'call me babes, I am free!'

Mush: Kya?

JDTV: Sorry, sir. Woh BB se mila aap ka number!

Mush: Mujh ko maloom tha, ye private sim maine chupke se li thi sirf BB se baat kerne ke liye. Acha khair, ask me whatever you want to ask.

JDTV: What's PCO?

Mush: Public Call Office.

JDTV: Nahi, sir. Jo aap nay impose kiya hai 1973 Constitution ke badlay mien.

Mush: Woh PCO, bhai listen to me, this is a marketing strategy. Mobiles ke waja se PCO business has suffered a lot. Sab ke paas mobiles agaye koi PCOs jata hi nahi tha. Ab PCO ki publicity ho gi tu in ka thora kam dhanda chalay ga.

JDTV: Sir, why have you banned all private channels including entertainment, music and sports ones?

Mush: Aray kahan ban hain sirf tum logoon ke...

JDTV: Sir, wait, hold kerain!

Mush: Main hold keroun, are you in your senses?

JDTV: Sir, please, sir, woh time check chalana hai.

Tick tick tick!! tungggg

12:00 o' clock, this time check is brought to you by

Home Land Insecurities

Jis tarhah abhi 12:00 baje hain, usi tarha agar aap ke chehre per bhi apni biwi se lernay kay baad 12:00 baj chuke hain to fikar na ki jiye ga. Hum hain na! Ab hum aap ko muaqa deitey hain! Aap bhi apne ghar mein emergency nafiz ker saktay hain. Is tarha aap apni biwi ke tamaam huqoq chien saktay hain aur us ko nazarband bhi ker saktay hain!

Agar aap aisa kerna chahain tu abhi dial kijiye 0900-420-420*

(*call charges @ Rs 72 per minute, exclusive of taxes)

JDTV: Hello, sir, you there?

Mush: Haan bhai hoon!

JDTV: Sir, we have Dr. Shahee Masoor in the studio with us. He would like to ask some questions.

Mush: Nahi, nahi. I don't want to talk to him. Demagh ki dahi ker deta hai. What's the next question?

JDTV: Sir, please answer the previous question first.

Mush: Haan tum logoon ke channels kyun band hain, listen to me, they are banned because you people are promoting terrorism, hatred for the government etc etc.

JDTV: Promoting terrorism, hatred for the government! How, sir?

Mush: Let me explain, listen to me. Let's start with terrorism. Tum logo ka channel hai AAG TV! Uss per humesha chalta rehta hai kay AAG laga do AAG laga do. See the reaction to that! So many fires have started breaking out in Karachi. Suicide bombing hoti hai tu sab se pehle AAG lagti hai, phir come to entertainment channel! Khuda k ay Liye mai request kerta hoon, ab bas bohat ho gaya Khuda kay Liye maine 10 martaba dekhli aur tum log is kay promos chalana band hi nai kertay ho! Aik hi cheez bar bar - boring and monotonous. Ab kab tak Iman Ali ko dekhein!

JDTV: Sir, what about sports and especially the news channels?

Mush: They are promoting hatred among the people for the government.

JDTV: Sports channels?

Mush: Abhi Pakistan India ki series chal rahi hai. Expert opinion ke liye tum log Imran Khan ko call kertay ho. He doesn't talk about cricket. He starts talking against ME, and my government. Same with the news channel. Ye batao woh tumhara promo tha Geo Musharraf ya geenay do Musharraf! Woh band ker kay BB kay chalana start kerdia. How dare you?

JDTV: Sir, that was a part of the presidential election coverage.

Mush: Have I taken the oath for the second time as president?

JDTV: No, Sir.

Mush: So start airing them.

JDTV: Okay, sir

Mush: I mean now!

JDTV: Now, okay, sir.

Mush: And listen all Geo Musharraf should go on air!

JDTV: Yes, yes, of course, sir.

Promos go on air!

AWAM KI AWAAZ....

GEO MUSHARRAF ya JEENAY DO MUSHARRAF

SADARTI ELECTION 2007!!

Message 1

Aap kay dor mien hum ko waqt ki ehmiat ka andazaa hua. Her channels per, har 15 minute baad time check chalanay se. Hum awam ko waqt ki qadar hui.

Geo Musharraf!

Message 2

Aap kay dor-e-hukoomat mien SMS 7.5 paisas ka ho gaya! Hum ko paisa ki ehmiat ka andzaa hua.

Geo Musharraf!

Message 3

During your rule we were very happy to find a new national hero, commander safeguard!!

Geo Musharraf!

Message 4

Your slogan of Enlightened Moderation has helped us a lot in getting dates. Girls are easier to get. Geo Musharraf!

JDTV: Sir, is it okay!

Mush: Yes, yes abhi Duraani say keh kar cable on kerwata hoon!

YOU & ME - YOU Magazine, The News International

YOU & ME
Rezza Aly Shah

Interviewed by
Waqas Hasan Sharif

DATED:[29TH-JULY-2008]

Admit it girls, we all fancy our celebs. The glitz of their glamorous world attracts us - what they wear, where they shop, what they dream of, their love-interests, their favourite things - we love to get the scoop. Keeping this in mind, from time to time You! is going to share some interesting tete-a-tete with popular celebrities. This time around, we were lucky enough to get hold of Rezza Aly Shah, popularly known as 'Rezz' - a fashion choreographer-cum-event manager. It may be shocking but the lad was originally a political science graduate; he also has an LLB and a masters' degree in Business Administration to his name! But thankfully Rezz didn't stick to that, since he has always been passionate about fashion and modelling. He started his event management company - 'Rezz Events' in 2000 in Islamabad. Since then there has been no looking back. Rezz has numerous fashion shows with designers like Maria B, Mahen Khan, Sarah Gandapur, Deepak Perwani, Sobia Nazir, Sadia Mirza etc to his credit. Rezz Events has done launch shows for places like Rendezvous' Rawalpindi, Cinnamon Cafe and Restaurant Islamabad, Sage Designer Store and also Chevy's' Cafe in Islamabad. If you are eager to know what's this gentleman likes and dislikes are, read on....

- Your claim to fame?

Rezz Events

- How many shows have you done so far?

Countless

- What's your most memorable show?

I guess the show I did in Bhurban for LG Shine

- Who is your favourite choreographer?

Sheroo (HSY)

- Who is your favourite model?

Ahhahhaaa! You want someone to kill me hun!! Can't think of one, actually Iraj, Rubab, Natty, Sunita, Neha and Fauzia are really good on the ramp...

- Your favourite designer?

Sana Safinaz

- Who is your best friend in showbiz?

So many. I never get bored in the company of my friends especially Adnan and Micky

- What is style to you?

It's kind of a personal aura. You cannot buy style, it's your own individuality

- How do you unwind?

I like to go on long walks with my ipod and sometimes just chill with my mom at home watching Star Plus dramas ...

- What is your favourite hang-out?

I love Cafe Zouk in Lahore, PAUL in Dubai, Majlis in Isloo...

- Your idea of romance?

I believe in relations from the heart, not planned mind games

- You are possessive about...

My mom

- You are passionate about...

My work

- You like men who are....

Honest and creative.

- You like women who are...

Beautiful and stylish

- What do you dislike about yourself?

Sometimes I feel like a fool as I trust people too soon, so I get hurt when people show their true colours. I hope I'll be more practical than emotional in future!!

- Your most valuable possession?

My Rolex, which my late father gave me on my graduation.

- You are afraid of...

Death

- You hate people who are...

Liars

- You get bored by...

Sitting idle. I am a workaholic

- If given a chance, would you like to settle abroad?

I love my country and there is no place in the world where we can get this level of comfort and respect

- What is the one thing which is very dear to you?

My friends and my family

- Your idea of happiness?

To find solace and be content in what we have, not what we urge to have.

- You are known by your friend as somebody who is...

Honest, and hard working

- You are proud of...

My clean reputation and my loyalty with my family, friends and my clients

Its Action Time - YOU Magazine, The News International

IT’S ACTION TIME!

This week we have selected few of the best summer movies of this season - filled with action and thrills...

Compiled by

Waqas Hassan Sharif

DATED: [22-JULY-2008]

Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda is a fun and action-packed movie which anyone can enjoy.Whether you are 5-years old or 50-years old, the movie will have you in stiches. Dreamsworks’ new computer- animated film is a departure from the pop culture referencing SHREK films. Most of this comes from a painstaking attention to detail by directors Mark Osborne and John Stevenson. They do a wonderfully stunning job creating a world true to the classic Kung Fu movies of the past including art work, title sequences, design of the village and music.

The story follows old school martial and takes place in Ancient China, Po (voiced by Jack Black) is a fat panda who works in a noodle restaurant. He dreams of being a Kung Fu master, and is a big fan of the Furious Five. They are Monkey, Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Snake, Crane and Mantis. During a festival in which the great master Oogway is going to choose the Dragon Warrior, Po shows up. Oogway picks him to be the great warrior to save the world. Trouble is, Po doesn’t know any martial arts. With the help of Oogway’s right hand man, Shifu (Dustin Hoffman), Po begins his training. Meanwhile, the evil Tai Lung escapes from prison to get revenge on Shifu and steal the Dragon Scroll. Po is the only one destined to defeat him.

The strength of this film is its visual presentation. The characters are well designed and they move with the necessary precision and grace. The scenic backgrounds are also well-rendered, with a distinct style that is ancient yet also modern. It’s one of the most action-packed movies in theaters now! Besides IRON MAN, it’s the best film of the summer!

- The movie is being shown @ Cineplex

Wanted

Wanted is a movie that never takes a breath. It races full throttle from beginning to end. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov, the film exudes danger and desire. The cast is wonderful, from the stern presence of Morgan Freeman to the playful confidence of Angelina Jolie. Seeing her driving a car while fighting off enemies is a hoot and what is more enjoyable is the fact that she makes it look believable. The inspiration of The Matrix is felt throughout Wanted, not in the form of ‘bullet time’ but in the sheer poetry of motion and mayhem.

The story revolves around Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) who only six weeks ago, was just another office worker making close to nothing per hour and generally letting life have its way with him... until Fox (Angelina Jolie) walked into his life, guns ablaze. It turns out that Wesley has a destiny and a talent, both for assassination. Under the tutelage of Fox, her boss Sloan (Morgan Freeman), and a host of other assassins, “The Fraternity” trains Wesley in their art. But first he has to go through a training program which is brutal to say the least. Still when he graduates he is a different man than he was before. The transformation of James McAvoy from dreaded “office boy” to empowered guild assassin is the real meat and potatoes of the movie, taking the audience from the mundane to the day-dreaming fantastic and back again.

Leave the kids at home but make sure you see this adrenaline fueled thriller. “Wanted” engages and wows throughout, thanks to its exceptional visuals and something far more rare in a summer blockbuster: a stellar lead performance. ‘Wanted’ is the one you want to see.

Mummy 3

The blockbuster global “Mummy” franchise takes a spellbinding turn as the action shifts to Asia for the next chapter in the adventure series, ‘The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor’. The film is directed by Rob Cohen and stars Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, John Hannah, Michelle Yeoh, Anthony Wong, Luke Ford and Isabella Leong. Mummy 3 was filmed in China and its main characters are based out of Chinese historic and mythology elements.

Brendan Fraser returns as explorer Rick O’Connell to combat the resurrected Han Emperor (Jet Li) in an epic that races from the catacombs of ancient China into the frigid Himalayas. Rick is joined in this all-new adventure by son Alex (newcomer Luke Ford), wife Evelyn (Maria Bello) and her brother, Jonathan (John Hannah). And this time, the O’Connells must stop a mummy awoken from a 2,000-year-old curse who threatens to plunge the world into his merciless, unending service.

- Wanted and Mummy 3 will soon hit the local cinemas

Talk Shock - Us Magazine, The News International

Pollutics
TalkShock

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

DATED: [11TH - JULY - 2008]

Hi and welcome to another sizzling session of Desperate Politicians, and I am your host JP Mir. Pakistan is facing a lot of problems; the whole country is engulfed in these crises which include: the judicial crisis, energy crisis, food crisis and the most importantly the rising inflation.

To discuss all these major issues and find a solution we have today with us in our studios the top leadership of the country: PML (N) Quaid Nawaz Sharif and Co-chairman PPP Mr. Asif Zardari.

JP: My first question is to you Mr. Nawaz; the country is facing a lot of problems and in this entire scenario how do you rate Shoaib Akhtar's IPL performance?

Nawaz Sharif: Allah tallah ke Fazlu karam se Shoaib ki performance was very good; and the credit goes to our government, varna Musharaf ne tu Shoaib ka career khatum kerdiya tha.

JP: Mr. Zardari, would you like to add to this comment?

Asif Zardari: See, when we talk about national reconciliation and where there is democracy this happens. Shoaib knew that when he was bowling he had the support of all the democratic forces of the country.

JP: Do you agree, Mr. Sharif?

NS: Yes, of course. Shoaib has the mandate and support of 16 crore awam.

JP: Shoaib is a very talented player but why are all these controversies attached to his career?

NS: Dekhay, jahan per Musharaf naam ka insaan hoga, wahan yahi hoga. Dictator should go, Asif bhai let's hit it:

(Nawaz and Asif together)

GO MUSHARRAF GO

GO MUSHARRAF GO

GO MUSHARRAF GO

JP: We shall take a little break here; see you after the break.

JP: Welcome back after the break, there has been a shocking development;

President General Pervez Musharraf has joined us.

JP: Welcome General sahab, what made you join us? This is an Anti- Musharaf show.

GPM: I was feeling bored so I thought of having some fun.

Hi Nawaz, long time no see!

Hi Asif, in a short span of time, lots of sees.

AZ: More than just sees, GPM.

JP: Wow, Nawaz and Musharraf on my programme together and that too LIVE.

NS: Dekhen Mir sahib, 16 crore awam nahi chahti that I sit with Musharraf but as you can see it's a WHS article and Musharraf has to be in it!

GPM: Asif, what were saying a few minutes ago - "GO MUSHARAF GO"??

AZ: I was saying GO Musharaf Go from Aiwan-e-Sadar and "Come Musharraf Come" to this show.

NS: Asif bhaiiii!!!!! This is cheating!

AZ: Oh sorry, Nawaz.

GO MUSHARRAF GO

GO MUSHARAF GO

GPM: Aasiiiif!!!!!

AZ: Yes GPM?

GPM: GO NRO GO

GO NRO GO.

AZ: Sorry GPM, pronunciation mistake; I forgot to put the "E" in

GO MUSHARAF GO.

Let me try again:

O MUSHARRAF GEO.

GPM: Perfect! Good boy Asif.

JP: Sir, we are here to discuss issues: Shoaib ki performance, his ban and King Khan hugging him, it's a serious issue.

GPM: Akhtar has performed well; let the Parliament decide about his ban. Parliament is supreme; its decision will be accepted by me.

JP: We have Shoaib Akhtar on telephone line. Jee, Shoaib Sahab, congratulations on your performance in IPL.

Shoaib Akhtar: Thank you very much.

JP: Tell us, Shoaib, did hugging Shahruck Khan feel after the match?

SA: Well, I felt really bad after Shahruck hugged me, mujh ko pehle pata hota ke I would get a hug, tu I would have joined Preity Zinta's team instead.

JPJ: Shoaib, aap King Khan ke team main select kaise hoye, ye tu bataiye?

SA: SRK called me and asked me to join his team. I told him that I was banned from cricket. I also said that I take drugs and am a playboy. Above all, I was also injured.

JP: Even then he made you a part of his team?

SA: Actually, he asked me: Shoaib, kya aap Panchvi Pass Se Tez Hain?

I replied, jee main tu bowling machine se bhi tez hoon. Then he selected me.

NS: Shoaib, you were subjected to allegations like taking dugs, going to night clubs, is this true or not?

SA: Sharif sahib, I think the answer is yes.

NS: Dekha Mir sahab, I am telling you ke jab tak Musharaf hain, masoom logo per zulm hota rehe ga. Adliya ko azaad kerwaye gaye. Shoaib ko bahaal kerwaye gaye.

SA: Nawaz sahab Adliya chorain. Dubai waloon ne Asif ko arrest kerliya hai, pehle us ko tu azaad kerwadain.

GPM: What are you saying Shoaib? Asif is here with me and so is NRO, how can he be arrested?

SA: Sir, I'm talking about Muhammad Asif; he got caught with drugs at the Dubai Airport.

AZ: Dubai waloo…. Tum kitne drugs pakroo gai

Har Asif se dugs nikle ga.

JP: Shoaib, you are back from India but you are still banned, what are you going to do now?

SA: I am also starting a news channel by the name of

Rawalpindi Express News – Shoaib per har waqt Nazar!

JP: Good luck.

SA: I want to appeal to Zaradari sahib to please give me some relief. Fine of 7 million is too much.

AZ: Don't worry, Shoaib, I will give you a 10 percent discount.

SA: Thank you, sir. Some things never change.

JP: Thank you for your call, Shoaib. Zaradari sahab, Nawaz and Musharaf sahab, things are getting out of control. Now Muhammad Asif also got caught and that too with drugs, where is this country going?

NS: Dekhain Mir sahib, jab tak Musharaf naam ka insaan, Pakistan mien hain, yahan per yahi hoga. M. Asif ki koi ghalti nahi.

JP: how?

NS: Musharaf ne Pakistan mien aata mehenga kerdiya, aab bechara Asif drugs nahi khaye ga tu phir kya kere ga.

JP: Musharaf sahab, Sharif sahab is constantly blaming you and demanding your resignation, what say you?

GPM: Really, I wasn't paying attention; actually I am expecting a call.

JP: call from whom, well we have Muhammad Asif on the line.

MA: Musharraf sahab sorry, I will not do this again, please rescue me, please.

JP: Asif, Nawaz and Zardari are also here, you can also appeal to them.

MA: No, only General sahab can rescue me. Please listen to me.

GPM: Yes I am listening, how can I help you?

MA: Sir only you can rescue me, I am asking you to please include my name in the NRO also so that I can be released too.

GPM: Sorry buddy, hard luck; only one Asif is allowed per NRO.

NS: Don't worry, Muhammad Asif bhai, hum tum ko azaad kerwaye gai.

Lahore se Dubai tak long march kare gai.

JP: Thank you for your time, Asif. Now that NRO has been popped into this discussion, what were the cases against Mr. Zardari which were withdrawn?

AZ: The cases against me were totally useless and fake.

JP: But what were those cases?

AZ: Well, there was one charge against me of stealing 10 lotas from the Prime Minister's house.

JPJ: But why did you steal lotas?

AZ: Yaar, lotay ki zaroorat kab perti hai bhai, do I have to explain?

JP: Nawaz sahab, your input on NRO?

NS: Dekhain Mir sahib, jab tak Musharaf naam ka insaan, Pakistan mien hai, yahan per yahin hoga. Lotas also don't get insaaf. We want judiciary restored.

GPM: Zardari, Dubai airport ka number dena. Let me try to get M. Asif released. Nawaz ye NRO ko Arabic mien kya kahain ge?

NS: I am not talking to you and what made you think I know Arabic.

GPM: You were living in Saudi Arabia for eight years. The sheikhs must have taught you something. What were you doing all those eight years?

AZ: Belly dancing!!

NS: Zardari bhai are you with me or with GPM.

AZ: Chaloo chupa chuppi khelte hain.

NS: Don't change the topic.

GPM: Dubai ki call lag gai.

Al- Dubia, qul General Mush speaking, qul release Al-Asif,

Al -Habibi tell your Didi Al – NRO applicable on Al-Asif too, qul. Okay? Thank you. Hogaya, Asif will fly back soon. Saara kam abhi bhi mujh ko hi kerna perta hai.

AZ: Waise Nawaz, 8 years in exile kya kiya?

GPM: Hair transplant kerwaye.

NS: At least I didn't dictate like you.

JP: Nawaz sahab aap ne hair transplant kyun kerwaya?

GPM: Mir, let me answer!

JP: Please go ahead.

GPM: Dekhain Mir sahib, jab tak Musharaf naam ka insaan, Pakistan mien hai, yahan per yahin hoga. Baloun ko bhi insaf nahi milay ga.

Even hair can be subjected to torture.

NS: Mir sahib, Allah talla ke Fazlu karam se, 16 crore awam wanted me to get the hair transplant.

GPM: Nawaz is your hair transplant according to the 1973 constitution?

NS: GO MUSHARAF GO!!!

JP: Nawaz sahab, GO Musharaf Go ki awaz has reached USA. We have President Bush on the line.

GPM: I was expecting his call.

Bush: Hi Homie, whatsup jiga?

GPM: Yo, I am fine, my brother who is not my brother.

Bush: Dam Dama Dum Dum Dum, Aur Sunao mere Humdum.

GPM: Nothing, the usual, Musharraf bashing.

Bush: Kon tang ker raha hai mere bhai ko? Nawaz and Zardari, are you with Us or not

AZ: Yes of course. We also believe in international reconciliation.

Bush: You people better start behaving; I am a very bad boy. Even IRO can't save me from my acts.

GPM: IRO?

Bush: International Reconciliation Ordinance.

AZ: Quaid-e-war on terror George Bush bhai, thank you for calling.

Bush: Don't cut me out, mind it! Waise bhi I'm leaving. Musharaf, if these guys bully you again just give me a missed call. Don't worry.

GPM: okay boss!

NS: We want Musharraf to face impeachment.

GPM: I am already facing you, what more do you want?

NS: We want judges to be restored.

GPM: Yaar Asif bohat ho gaya, kerde judges bahaal.

AZ: Look who's talking.

JP: Musharaf sahab why don't you reinstate the judges?

GPM: I only know how to fire them, no clue about how to reinstate them.

NS: We will long March.

GPM: Good for Nawaz, at least you will lose some calories.

AZ: Oh boy, another long march?

GPM: Another Long march would like be a sequel to an already super flop film.

JP: Nawaz sahab, why do you think the long march was a failure?

NS: Dekhay Mir sahib, jab tak Musharaf naam ka insaan, Pakistan mien hai, yahan per yahi hoga.

GPM: Hum picnic mananay niklay hain. Aou hamare saath chalo.

JP: Zardari sahab what is this constitutional package?

AZ: Bohat hi zabardast package hai. Package mien more then 10 friends and family PCO judges hain. Aur jab 10 friends and family judges tu phir har hour happy hour.

JP: When can we expect the judges to be reinstated?

AZ: GPM, the question is to you.

GPM: Justice Chaudry Nawaz Ki Lottery.

NS: Musharaf must be tried in court.

GPM: I don't think that would be according to my constitution.

NS: Have you ever done any thing according to the constitution?

GPM: Konsa constitution?

NS: 1973 ka constitution!

GPM: Okay fine, here's a first. Nawaz would you like to do frandship with me?

NS: Ye 1973 Aian ki khilaf hai.

GPM: Obviously, yaar.

JP: Nawaz sahab you got disqualified from contesting by-elections?

GPM: Make it quick, Nawaz.

NS: Ya sure, Mir sahib jahan per Musharaf naam ka insaan hogay wahan per yahin hoga.

GPM: It's Bye Bye Elections for you Mr. Sharif.

AZ: I think its time to end the show.

JP: Sure sir, but when are all these issues going to be solved.

AZ: Don't worry, soon; we are trying our best not to break Kashmir issue's record.

JP: Thank you all for coming and best of luck.