Friendly fire!
The Annual Budget has been announced recently. Like every year, the government has boasted that this budget would help in eliminating poverty (read poor), provide relief to the common man and would prove beneficial for various industries as well. We've been watching and reading such claims made by various ministers for a long time. However, we have with Us this week no other than the PM himself who talks about Budget 2007 and much more...
Q: Hello, Mr Prime Minister, thank you for coming,
Shaukat Aziz: No, thank you!
Q: Why, Sir?
S.A.: Nobody invites me; every body invites the President, and even
Sheikh Rashid has more media appearances than I have even though I changed his ministry.
Q: Sir, you changed it or...
S.A. (interrupting) Come on, I don't just sit here and enjoy; I also make decisions.
(Well...okay, Sir, if you say so.)
Q: Sir, tell us about the budget of 2007-2008
S.A. Well, this was the only thing I used to do before becoming Prime Minister.
But before talking about the Budget, I would like to congratulate you and your group's newspaper, and General Sahab is also very happy with you guys.
Q: Why is that, Sir?
S.A.: There was not a single story about the on going judicial crisis
on your front page, just the federal budget, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, this year the budget is people friendly and relief oriented;
it's a historical budget in which relief has been ensured to the
common man.
Q: Sir, you said the same thing last year, too.
S.A. Yes, but I used Urdu as the medium of communication last time. This year's is a biggy! It's a Rs1.599 trillion budget. Have you ever seen so much money at once?
(No Sir, I don't work for the State Bank.)
Q: What benefits does the budget offer to the common man?
S.A. None, hehehe, just kidding.
As I said before, a lot of relief is given. We have reduced the prices of MP3 CDs. We have also slashed the prices of DVDs, too, and no duty will be charged over their duplication and piracy.
Then, we have reduced the prices of mobile phone connection i.e. SIMS and have introduced new attractive packages. We have slashed duty on mobile to mobile calls, however interconnect charges apply. We have reduced the prices of the Internet. You can now get more hours for less money.
We have also reduced the prices of air that you fill in the tyres of your cars.
Q: What about the essential food items?
S.A. Ya, sure we have worked on that, too, and duty on 5 essential items has been reduced.
Q: What are they?
S.A. Well, let me think... I think they are:
1. Popcorn
2. Candyfloss
3. Kala Chooran
4. Munna Biscuits
5. Party Slims
Q: Sir, I was talking about rice, sugar and wheat. What about hese items?
S.A: This issue comes under the Ministry of Health
What!
S.A: See, listen to me, if sugar is expensive, people will consume less sweet stuff and less sugar consumption means no Diabetes. The same goes for rice and wheat. Both of the items are rich in calories. When people will fall ill less frequently, we can save on the health budget. We want the whole Pakistan to look like Vaneeza Ahmed. Slim and smart.
Q: Sir, Vaneeza Ahmed?
S.A. What, did you expect me to say Saima or Meera?
Q: Sir, it's Siama Noor now.
S.A. Whatever, dude, by the way, is it official now?
Q: Yes, it is.
S.A. Oh boy, our film industry sure needs help now.
Q: What about vegetables? Tomatoes are a case in point. The price for one kg is more than Rs50. Where will the poor go?
S.A. Actually, the price of tomatoes has been increased on purpose, as we wanted to make sure that people couldn't buy them. If tomatoes are easily available to people, they throw them on our ministers to show their anger on our policies.
Q: But, Sir, you are the government!
S.A. See, if it comes to throwing tomatoes, then it is merely President Musharraf's government.
Q: Sir, we can still use eggs...
S.A. Really? Get me the chicken ministry!
(Sir, don't worry you are safe here.)
Mr. Prime Minister, thank you very much for coming. I am sure that the people must have followed the budget up till now, and are probably going shopping for eggs.
Shaukat Aziz. I told you it's an exemplary budget.
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