KESC - Killer Electric Supply Corporation [Un-Published]

KESC

By Waqas Hassan Sharif

Scenario 1:

ADVERTISEMENT IN A DAILY…..

Urgently wanted: Suicide Bombers.

Target: KESC

Salary: One way ticket to Heaven (Visa included)

Other bonus: 72 hooray jo hum ko millay gi who bhi app ki

Scenario 2:

Hello and welcome yet again to this LIVE and Exclusive transmission of Jeenay Do TV:

JDTV: We would like you to bring you this breaking news that WAPDA-PEPCO has disconnected the electric supply to the KESC due to which the whole of Karachi has plunged into darkness in broad day light.

JDTV: We would really love to tell you that we are first to break this breaking news and we have also received exclusive video footage of PEPCO disconnecting the supply.

JDTV: We have now contacted spokesperson for the KESC. Sir please tell us what is happening, why KESC hasn’t paid its bills.

SP-KESC: Well we don’t know what’s happening and yes we are not paying, Us are not paying the bills.

JDTV: Why sir the people of Karachi are suffering

SP-KESC: We don’t have 35 billion rupees, aap kay pass hain tu please give us.

JDTV: So what will happen next? Where are you going to get so much money?

SP-KESC: Well we have contacted EDHI people and rescue 1122. They will come to rescue us.

JDTV: Thanks for talking to us

JDTV: We will take a short commercial break .we will be back with our exclusive and LIVE transmission.

Picture Courtesy: Dawn

Awaam ki awaz!!

Geo KESC

Ya

Jeenay Do KESC

Bijli Bohraan 2008

A depressed House Wife:

Due to no electricity I missed the last episode of Kausati Zindagi KI and also my other soaps on Star Plus. Jeenay Do KESC

A Happy Lawyer:

Due to no light people come out their houses to beat the heat and we the lawyers make them join our protest which makes our protests look big

Burqa Shop owner:

Light ki janay ki waja se larkiyon nie pardah kerna chor diya hain, kyun ke andheray mien kuch nahi dekhta larko ko jis ki waja se hamari burqay ki sale bohat decrease hoi hain. Jeenay Do KESC.

A joyful Student:

Due to KESC’s inefficiency the Karachi Inter and Metric boards have decided us to give us 2% extra grace marks in the board exams. GEO KESC

PEPCO Official:

KESC has not paid our bills which is creating a lot of trouble for us

Jeenay Do KESC.

A rich Banker:

Due to extensive loadsheading program of the KESC people has started leasing out generators on heavy markups and down payments which has doubled my commission during the last 2 months. GEO KESC

JDTV: Welcome back from the break, we have Imran Khan on the line with Us, yes sir what do have to say?

Imran Khan: Well you see jis mulk mien aik dictator…..

JDTV: Sir please stick to the topic

Imran Khan: Well, after Aamir Khan, Elizabeth Hurly I have succeeded in bring the King Khan Sharuck Khan to come to Pakistan and conduct a fund raiser

JDTV: Sit again a fund raider I mean a fund raiser for Shaukat Khanum

Imran Khan: Not for Shukat Khanum but for the KESC, bechare kaha se lia ge 35 billion Rupess

JDTV: good thinking sir!

LIVE Telethon Starts of course on JDTV

JDTV host: Welcome to this LIVE telethon. Today we have gathered here for a very noble cause and that is of course gather funds for the KESC.

We have with us Mr.King Khan, Mr. KESC.

sir would like to say something

SK: Yes I would like to say that kakkkkakkk Kiran I mean KESC bhia please kakkkkk Karachi walo ko tang na kare aur please electricity bahaal kerde.

JDTV host: Mr KESC when will the problems in Karachi will be solved.

Mr.KESC: We don’t know may be next year or may be the next after the next one.

SK: My new movie will be based on Karachi’s electricity problems it will be

Kal Ho Na Ho II

JDTV host: I think it should be renamed to Kabhi Bhi Na Ho

JDTV host: Well Mr. KESC what are you future plans.

Mr. KESC: We plan to start are operations soon in Punjab

JDTV host: What? Why? No sir please, why in Punjab?

Mr. KESC: HAMARA KHUWAB

ANDHERE MIEN DOOBA PUNJAB

JDTV Host: Well what about the line loses and electricity theft that the KESC faces, how is that going to be countered

Mr. KESC: Well we are going to revamp our whole system and there will be no electric poles and cables in the future. We will provide electricity through wireless technology. App keg har per antenna lage ga and it will receive electricity.

JDTV Host: Looks quiet promising! What else can we expect from the KESC?

Mr. KESC: we have decided to provide UPS to all our customers.

JDTV Host: is this a joke?

Mr. KESC: No, its not we are going to provide UPS to customers which will be attached to their meters.

JDTV Host: So the meters will be running still while the light is gone.

Mr. KESC: exactly!

JDTV Host: that’s wicked

[incomplete]